Family Drama

You might leave Home but you cannot at all escape Family Drama.

I am not gonna go on to details as to what my sentiments are for my family but tell you honestly, I was pass being hateful towards them until 3 weeks ago. The fact that they do not give a damn about my priorities and dreams is what mostly pissed me off. They practically wanted me to set aside what me and my partner has been building for 4 years to get their own dreams started. I am not a crappy sister and I will help generously if I could but do not bullshit me. All I hear from what they were saying is their side, the fact that they do not even know the implications and ramifications the said decision will bring upon us. To throw in "trust" disgusted me. You want to play this card then go ahead, I do not give a damn. I have been to where I am right now without any of your help and I am sorry to say this but where were you when I was asking for help? You practically told me to fuck off. I have forgotten all of those and now it is all too fresh again for me. Wounds that are sprinkled with lime that lingers like a MF.

I did not hear the words I am dying to hear. I am not at fault. If you are so closed minded and selfish then I guess there is nothing that I can do in regards with that.

Career

I am 25 years of age. I feel old yet people tell me I am young. I feel most of the time at lost as to where I stand. To be honest mostly where my career is heading. Life is hard being a nurse especially being in a time where budget cuts are quite prevalent and no matter how noble your job is it sucks the life and enthusiasm out of you. Most of the time I hear ridicule, most of the time I feel like being inside a very small box where doing every move is not permitted and I feel mostly claustrophobic.

Growing up as a child, I would say I am very imaginative, innovative, heck, I wanted to be an Inventor for Godsakes! I used to tore my toys and try to make them into something else which unfortunately ended up being broken beyond repair; but that did not affect my spirits at all, I see potentials when others see hopeless. I was a dreamer...I still am right now but my pure dreams nowadays are tainted with the bitter realism that nursing brought to my life. I always say, Nursing killed my creativity and my passion for technology. Do not get me wrong for I am finding ways to fuse them is just that in an economy we have right now, it is vaguely possible. Nothing seems feasible when I try to combine any of my passion with nursing, ah, is this a sign? Yes I believe it is but as much as I want to be impulsive and just put everything about nursing behind I can't for like I say, I am more realistic nowadays and to add to this quite broke. This is the only job I know so far and I might add, the only job that I can get paid for as of late.

I know this whole entry pretty much is venting, my old friend told me I shall change this whole emo attitude but how can I? I feel that everyone is finding their own path and I am still lost in the wilderness. Good for others if they do not give a damn of what they will be in the future but I cannot just idle around like Newton, Career is something earned by choices and hard work it does not just fall from a tree. So fuck me for caring.